Continental...

When certain masses of the earth are moved, they are called Continental Shifts.

I can feel the continent below me and I'm ready for a shift.

You often "like" my posts on FaceBook, whether they are photos of beautiful scenery, caesars, food, exercising, me acting the fool, or photos of the people in my life. For this I thank you. From a place of vulnerability, I tell you that it makes me feel good when you do. I'm a bit needy at times, you see. But it's not lost on me, so please, by all means, keep doing it. It revives me, inspires me and many times one of you comments on a post, and it really means something to me, or touches me, makes me think or refocus. I wish that I knew every one of you, and I mean this quite literally; I actually can't remember who some of my friends on Facebook are anymore, and for that I am ashamed. I hope to change that. But I really wish I knew every one of you. Some of you I know very well; we are close, we've been through something intense together, and we understand each other. If you are one of these people, you really get me, and I believe you always will, so this post will make complete sense to you. You are a person that's already seen me be vulnerable. Maybe it was during my years of struggle from 25 to 29..ok ok, 21 to 30-something. Perhaps you’ve seen a bad side of me, a really good side of me, a unique side of me. Maybe it's because we've connected, dated, hated or just had a moment of oneness together. That group of people is usually forgiving with me, (for whatever reason,) and for that I am eternally grateful. You let me get away with crap, and I'm hoping it's because you've had faith there would be a positive outcome, that I'd reflect, that I'd grow, and just maybe your forgiveness could change the world. Even in my darkest moments, I've had faith I'd really be who i was meant to be "one day". As of now I still don't know exactly what that means, but I also still believe it and I'm living it. I'm hoping you do too. With that being said, my faithful readers, I'd like to get to know you more. I'm on a new journey and I'd like to share it, so I'm going to start blogging again. If you read this last sentence and liked it, please comment below with a blank comment to show you’ve done so. I’m aiming for ten blank comments, but would be happy with five. Think of it as your personal message to me. I won't tell anyone. And on the note of personal messages, I'd like to go back to my first point: I'd still love your engagement. I'm feeling like it's time to kick it into next gear and I'd love to share that with all of you. I'm going to link to a blog post I wrote almost 7 years ago now. It's a reminder of how I want to be and it's also a signpost that I'm going the right direction.

All I have to do is - Just Remember.

Surrender.

As the battle came near to its end, the Major decided too many of his men were dying. He looked at his soldiers and saw in their eyes they were defeated. It was time for something different. Why push forward only to be slaughtered? He realized a most important thing that day; to save his life and the lives of others he would need to surrender.

This little story stands as a metaphor representing all that we battle daily - challenges we have and the despair that some of them bring, each at varying degrees. As the person in charge or our own troops, we are responsible for saving lives; at least our own life. The question then stands how do we call back the troops? How do we make the decision to realize defeat? Is it ok to be defeated? When do we surrender?

These are my two favourite definitions of Surrender:
1).To relinquish possession or control of to another because of demand or compulsion.
2). To give over or resign (oneself) to something, as to an emotion

The reason I want to clarify these meanings is because of some stigmas that come with the word surrender. We live in a society that has a butt heads, push forward, and that "don’t give up the fight" attitude. But don’t get me wrong, there is nothing bad about a little gusto. However, what has happened due to our societal standard, is that we lose vision of what we are fighting for. When this occurs we end up in a constant state of conflict. This causes duress and without a cause, it also ends in anxiety, unhappiness and a feeling of being lost. Surrendering is not the same as giving up when there is no cause.

To resign oneself or relinquish control, could possibly be two of the most effective tools we are unaware of. Because of our fighting nature, we don’t get that we need to let go, to grow. Habits, cycles and battles all need to be let go; if we can keep this thought while also thinking of surrendering - we can understand how this applies to our growth.

There is more out there, we all know it. Whether you think there is more out there in your career, in your love life, in finances or in spirit – almost all of us have a feeling there is something else. We can’t quite grasp it sometimes, we don’t know how to chase it and it often seems like we should just not bother. To reach for that next level, to grow, we must surrender - Surrender the current battle, surrender our stale belief systems and surrender to a higher order.

It is not to give up but to release our inhibitions of moving forward, that we must concede and surrender. Just remember you can look within and receive positive incite.

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands.

If you are not happy, then hey, maybe you should clap your hands anyway. You might remember this from childhood songs. This song is among many that are sung with children all over North America. These songs in fact really don't give many options to the life these children are embarking on. Why aren't we singing songs to kids, that teach them what to do, when they aren't happy? We sing songs about disease, disaster, bridge is falling down and babies in cradles falling from trees. I'm sure we can do some research and find out how these horrible life guides came to be. However, I'm more of the school that says -Complain, come up with an alternative and move on!

So I suggest, the next time you are singing a song to a child, or possibly just in your head after reading this short rant; change the words. If you are happy and you know it, clap your hands. If you're sad and don't know why, ask for help! London bridge is more sustainable.. I don't know, but until we come up with a better system for kids songs, do this.

If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands. If you're not happy and you can't fight it, clap your hands too. Go ahead and try it... Just start clapping, slowly at first and then pick up momentum. Clap harder and harder till you are cheering and hey maybe even give out a little "Hoooyah!". You'll see, you will be smiling before you know it. Either out of joy or the silly thought of why am I clapping? It's ok to feel wierd, just come up with a good reason to clap - replace the weirdness with the good reason..Now that thought is in your head and you're happy. and you know it! Keep this ditty for a needed moment.

just remember.

Re:member recap

http://allthetoc.blogspot.com/2008/12/just-rememberanything-you-need-to_23.html

Haiku to You.

For Bells the Birds sing,
The morning after my dream.
Was it real, this talk?

The B-Line or Cloud 9 ?

It's not my normal way to work. I'm on a different route, not my usual bus, there is no skytrain at all on this journey. I haven't changed jobs, no I haven't, but this commute is changing my mood. Stand in line like cows herding to the pastures in the morning. I miss a bus because it's too full, no more room. A blessing I will be thankful for. If I see so many here with me, how can I feel alone, today it's just stress. The bus I take is crowded with only one spot for standing room directly in front of me. Missing that last bus was a good thing. It only stops at three stops before I get off, you were at the second. The only spot near the front door, you came towards me, no eye contact. You are full of power, in this bus, which steals mine. Your skin is soft and flawless, but some how not perfect. Hair tied back in a braid, you use your umbrella to hook the overhead hand rail. Leveraging the handle to lean over and adjust your bag, you have two of them, this one over your shoulder. You are facing the other direction, your back against my chest, but not touching. I can feel a small twinge of energy. Eerily, I am moved; by such a stranger? Your scent familiar, is full of fruit, it's your hair; no your essence. Feeling so closely like a commercial the bus stops abruptly. We don't bump, I try hard to make sure of it. I feel as if you are purposefuly ignoring me, by choice. I'm so wrapped up in my head game, I don't notice the girl next to us who's smiled at me. The next few blocks are jerky, with lots of turbulance, but I'm so taken by everything. Your jacket is made of dark denim, your skirt flowing, with elegant and simple shoes. I consider the possibilities of our social circles overlapping. Afterall, some of your decor looks hand made. Especially your earrings, they have been crafted by someone who cared. Sleek twisted curves with brown marble stone at the droops of each spiral. I get lost in the swirls, I think about how I could possibly know you in real life; I am swept away by fantasy. My thoughts sifting through a made up future, where the bus represents our lives. Some times turbulant, sometimes smooth, but always in sync. Swaying together through the entire ride, our arms are both at a ninety degree angle, holding the bar above us. As we shift they move perfectly as one, like the turning wheels of a car. Have I been looking at your neck? That's not good, this is a bus. Is this my stop? I find myself moving away from you quickly, the fantasy leaves my mind- just as fast. The eternity of that moment, the depth of our possibilities, is simply past. As I step off the bus love is in the air and it's not Monday; but I'm a little wiser. Now I haven't asked you your name, again...

Gracefully shameful

I think twice whenever I am put in a situation that makes me feel like my back is up against the wall. There was a time in my life, when that would make me "react".

I've stopped this approach lately. The reason is that I've come to realize, there is a fine line, between the possible outcomes in these situations. Shame and grace are very closely aligned, regardless of the fact they make us feel very different, when we experience them.

I only have one example of how this is true. At least in story form.

The other day I was coming home from work. In my usual fashion, I unloaded my pockets onto the table that sits between my living room and kitchen. Everything goes in a pile, so that later I'm not lost as to where it might be.

Earlier I had been at a store, and the line of people behind me, caused me to separately put my bank card in my pants pocket. I'm usually pretty methodical about putting it back in the wallet, but not this time. After emptying my pockets, I got out of my work clothes and went about my evening. The next day at work, I went to lunch with a coworker, while ordering she offered to buy me lunch.

This was a nice gesture and I was appreciative. Especially since it had been at my favourite lunch stop in. I was on the fence about allowing her to buy my lunch, to be honest. I was questioning her motives, even though there was absolutely no reason to do so. Regardless, she bought lunch and we went on with our day.

Later in the evening as I went home from work, I stopped to buy some transit tickets, finding myself in a bind. I pulled my wallet out and went to pay. Low and behold, no card. No tickets.

Further more, I was now considering the possible outcomes of the earlier situation.

You see, I had ordered my food, before she offered to buy it for me.

If she had not offered to buy my lunch I would have been a wee bit embarrassed. However, being embarrassed and being an ass are two different things. You see as I internally reacted to my questions of her motives, I nearly got upright indignant about her buying my lunch. I was a millisecond from sounding off to her (and most likely the woman behind the counter) about how I could not possibly accept such an offer. Imagine what would have happened then, if thirty second later, I had pulled out an empty wallet; no bank card. I would have gone from a free lunch, to begging for help.

It was only a moment of difference between these two possible outcomes. As I got home and found my card in my previous day's pants, I smiled. With grace.

Because it all happens for a reason, it all matters and it should all be considered.

Go in grace and.. just remember.

Power vs. Force

I am not a counselor, but I have a strong feeling about the connections we make, the effect we have on each other and the endless opportunities to contribute to each other’s growth. Whenever you are in a situation, a relationship, or an interaction, one that you can't get your head around, something that makes you feel horrible, despairing, helpless, or just plain bad – you can affect it, even at it's worst.

I am not perfect. I will try to keep my message neutral and as positive as I can. I say these things to keep me from forgetting them when I need to remember. These words are as much for you as they are for me. And remember while you read this, hope springs eternal...

You can make changes in your life. You are in control. You are powerful. You can have whatever you want, or, if you don't know what you want, you can choose not to have it either. This works regardless of what your brain tells you, if it says that you are stuck, trapped, or you can't get out. There is always an alternative. First and also most important, you are not alone.

Whether you trust in your vices, religion, faith, friends, family, or if you believe in anything at all, then still you have to trust that there is salvation. There must be somewhere to turn or some way to get help that is not based on complaining or bitching or avoidance. Start by getting help and you are one step closer to making a change.

Nothing can hold your power back; power like your eternal light. The world is your endless possibility, and simply thinking about positive outcomes is enough to make things happen. Furthermore, action towards a positive outcome is even more powerful. Anger and guilt and hopelessness will get you nowhere except further into being lost. You can always wander with hope, into the middle of nowhere, with better results, than negatively into a desert of despair; into a place you don’t want to be.

You cannot ever make life fair, because what's fair to one person may not be fair to another, but all is fair in the grand eternal. As things balance themselves out. Stop accusing others, or yourself; accept the 'flaws' you see and maybe if you nurture growth in a positive way, everyone will be able to admit to oneself what they need. Then you won't have to end or continue in turmoil, it will just become an experience that passes. In other words, I'm saying: nurture your situation to develop it into a learning experience instead of fighting it with anger. The pain is hard, the hurt too much. That is in your control as well. Someone once said we only need pain to learn… until we don't need pain to learn anymore, then we can just learn. You control the pain and the hurt; they are only concepts, not real, natural phenomena. There is nothing physically wrong, and even in those that do have physical pain, you can see them conquer their pain through vision.

Just a reminder: even if you are in the middle of a situation with another person, you cannot take their interpretation – which probably hurts them as much as your situation is hurting you – you cannot take it personally, because if they are there, they are stuck as well, and you are both in it together. Don't feel hurt and denied, but try to understand how everyone got there in the first place. Most people in pain do not see that they are loved just for who they are. We have the power to remind each other, and you have that power too.

Look, you can put a lifetime into anger, or hurt, or negativity; you can live your life miserably as a wife, a husband, a son, a daughter or partner of any kind; however, you can also decide to invest a much shorter time into developing a relationship filled with love, understanding and compassion. This will help you grow as much as it will help others grow, to the point that they can become a person who can make admissions to themselves; the very same admissions you look to be honest about, here, now, within yourself. You are a powerful person, capable of that love, if you let yourself.

Vision is the leader of our lives and you have to see the potential future to make it happen. So by simply believing, you can make it happen, without even trying. Words like “anger,” “hurt,” “guilt,” and phrases like, “It's too soon,” and “I can't,” are only negative steps that will keep you wandering. You may see the vision once, and may not have the ability to sustain it constantly, but with small steps you can head in the right direction. We must take these steps whenever opportunity presents them, to keep the journey moving forward.

You are ready when your ears are listening, your eyes are seeing and your heart is open. So make yourself ready.

I feel like we can all inspire people. You can too.

Just remember.