Power vs. Force

I am not a counselor, but I have a strong feeling about the connections we make, the effect we have on each other and the endless opportunities to contribute to each other’s growth. Whenever you are in a situation, a relationship, or an interaction, one that you can't get your head around, something that makes you feel horrible, despairing, helpless, or just plain bad – you can affect it, even at it's worst.

I am not perfect. I will try to keep my message neutral and as positive as I can. I say these things to keep me from forgetting them when I need to remember. These words are as much for you as they are for me. And remember while you read this, hope springs eternal...

You can make changes in your life. You are in control. You are powerful. You can have whatever you want, or, if you don't know what you want, you can choose not to have it either. This works regardless of what your brain tells you, if it says that you are stuck, trapped, or you can't get out. There is always an alternative. First and also most important, you are not alone.

Whether you trust in your vices, religion, faith, friends, family, or if you believe in anything at all, then still you have to trust that there is salvation. There must be somewhere to turn or some way to get help that is not based on complaining or bitching or avoidance. Start by getting help and you are one step closer to making a change.

Nothing can hold your power back; power like your eternal light. The world is your endless possibility, and simply thinking about positive outcomes is enough to make things happen. Furthermore, action towards a positive outcome is even more powerful. Anger and guilt and hopelessness will get you nowhere except further into being lost. You can always wander with hope, into the middle of nowhere, with better results, than negatively into a desert of despair; into a place you don’t want to be.

You cannot ever make life fair, because what's fair to one person may not be fair to another, but all is fair in the grand eternal. As things balance themselves out. Stop accusing others, or yourself; accept the 'flaws' you see and maybe if you nurture growth in a positive way, everyone will be able to admit to oneself what they need. Then you won't have to end or continue in turmoil, it will just become an experience that passes. In other words, I'm saying: nurture your situation to develop it into a learning experience instead of fighting it with anger. The pain is hard, the hurt too much. That is in your control as well. Someone once said we only need pain to learn… until we don't need pain to learn anymore, then we can just learn. You control the pain and the hurt; they are only concepts, not real, natural phenomena. There is nothing physically wrong, and even in those that do have physical pain, you can see them conquer their pain through vision.

Just a reminder: even if you are in the middle of a situation with another person, you cannot take their interpretation – which probably hurts them as much as your situation is hurting you – you cannot take it personally, because if they are there, they are stuck as well, and you are both in it together. Don't feel hurt and denied, but try to understand how everyone got there in the first place. Most people in pain do not see that they are loved just for who they are. We have the power to remind each other, and you have that power too.

Look, you can put a lifetime into anger, or hurt, or negativity; you can live your life miserably as a wife, a husband, a son, a daughter or partner of any kind; however, you can also decide to invest a much shorter time into developing a relationship filled with love, understanding and compassion. This will help you grow as much as it will help others grow, to the point that they can become a person who can make admissions to themselves; the very same admissions you look to be honest about, here, now, within yourself. You are a powerful person, capable of that love, if you let yourself.

Vision is the leader of our lives and you have to see the potential future to make it happen. So by simply believing, you can make it happen, without even trying. Words like “anger,” “hurt,” “guilt,” and phrases like, “It's too soon,” and “I can't,” are only negative steps that will keep you wandering. You may see the vision once, and may not have the ability to sustain it constantly, but with small steps you can head in the right direction. We must take these steps whenever opportunity presents them, to keep the journey moving forward.

You are ready when your ears are listening, your eyes are seeing and your heart is open. So make yourself ready.

I feel like we can all inspire people. You can too.

Just remember.

Lift off.

The phrase 'soft launch' refers to a particular way of releasing or unveiling a service or product. It usually means that there is awareness that things will need to be improved, but there is no way to achieve this without a test period. This time of testing will require the involvement of a larger demographic or user group. The 'soft' refers to only partial or limited portions of the product being unveiled. Soft launches are normally followed by hard launches.

I'm bringing this up because last week at work, we had a soft launch of our product.

This brought me to thinking (as most things do). These postings are a soft launch of sorts. I am aware that I have kinks to work out (like my grammar and sentence structure), yet I'm ready to be run across a bigger audience. Speaking is my thing, not writing, but the practice of insight is the real product. The main difference being that when you are speaking one on one with a person, the insights you discuss seem have more 'meaning'. Most of my posts have been about the weather, but that's not to say it's not important in some way or another.

At work, the service that's being provided during the soft launch phase seemed to be menial. So distantly far from the final product, I mentally pushed myself to go further than the scope of the current objectives. I was trying to give it a purpose.

As I went through the motions I found that feedback started coming to me (from management) to pull on the reins. Slow down, think about the basics, do what we can, not what we hope to one day. I found that resonating very solidly with me. My talk about discipline, this blog, friends and just about anything else in life- all have to be practiced through soft launches. The practice demographic was also giving me feedback about the soft launch. Apparently there is value in the limited service being provided! Who would have thought?

I've started to be a little more social again and I'm remembering the importance of interacting with other humans. It has shown me that there is endless opportunity to "soft launch" everywhere. You can fully provide the product that is now available (even if unpolished). So go ahead and prepare yourself. Distribute your services to the larger demographic. Polish it, find the kinks, improve your technique and you will add valuable perspective. Patience once again comes to mind. Because by enjoy the process the wait for that final destination won't be as hard.

With that, I close with an offering to remember. I urge everyone to remember the soft launches in your life. Cherish and utilize them, because in the end, *it all matters.

it all matters.

Sometimes I don't know what to write. Which means I also don't know what to talk about. When you don't want to speak in front of a mirror, or your friends won't sit and listen to you, you still need to practice.

I want to talk about some food habits I've tried to implement into my life. Here's one of them.

When I'm short on will power, in regards to yummy food, I often have to trick myself. I'll talk myself out of eating out, by convincing myself I can recreate it at home. One of my soft points is the Wendy's Taco Salad. I walked by Wendy's twice today. YAH! I was walking, good start.

but man was I craving a taco salad. It's been forever since I had one. I used to get them all the time back when I was working for that other company. Probably a good reason I gained forty pounds while I was there.

While walking by the second time I thought to myself, "man I am really craving a taco salad." and as you can see, there is a trend here. But I don't need a Wendy's taco salad, right? I can have a taco salad of another variety. (do you want a taco salad yet?) I can make one at home.

Make home made chilli. I suggest vegetarian chilli, less fatty.
Cut and bake home fries. Freeze the sliced potato over night first and then soak them for ten minutes before baking. When very krispy, lay home fries on a bed of spinach.

Pour chilli on top, enjoy.

Hell no it's not a Wendy's taco salad.

but now I don't need one.

well.

So discipline definitely not my thing. I haven't written in a while, because I'm secretly avoiding posting. I didn't do more than one day. So I've been avoiding admitting it. To myself, to you (whoever is out there).

However, in life, we fail.

Doing better after failing is what it's all about. I will start again tomorrow and see how it goes.

good luck to you

Discipline

Definition: 1. training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character 2. control gained by enforcing obedience or order b: orderly or prescribed conduct or pattern of behavior 3. self-control 4. a rule or system of rules governing conduct or activity

So you can pick a definition, but everyone can find one in there that they think would benefit them. We all need a little more discipline in our lives, ok that's not true, some need less. I, my friend, need more. I will start with some basics. The point here is that I have my own definition. I'll make it simple for us. My definition of discipline, is having the ability to do something, over and over again.

Do something over and over again. Do something over and over again.

I do something over and over again all the time, daily, weekly, monthly. Over and Over. All the time.

Do something over and over again, for one hundred days, nothing hard. It just has to be done every day for one hundred days. I start tomorrow.

day 1.

alarm clocks and coffee.....

The morning is early, but not as early as it will be. The room is cold and the beeping is getting louder. The fade to wake function is genius, allowing me to be woken softly, with vigor bringing me to anger. Enough rage to get me out of my bed stomping. Stomp stomp stomp right over to the kettle, the switch is flipped. One, two, three I turn and lay back in bed. One alarm down, two to go, three in total. Another handy feature that my alarm clock has. Three alarms, three different sounds, three times. It's eleven minutes later and the 'rock' tune is on the chorus. "Click" the kettle goes, from the kitchen, timed perfectly through practice.

The french press is lined up with the grounds, sugar and cream which I grabbed from the fridge during the switch flip. I'm not angry, I'm singing along with the 'rock' tune. Grounds in the press, water on the grounds, stir and walk. I'm in bed again. I'm laying and waiting, the third of three to come. I'm not tired, I'm not angry, the smell fills the air. Deep roasted scent, filled with a light nut flavour. The air easier to breathe and rich with life. Before the third alarm plays, I've turned it off, rarely do I hear 'wave'. Thank you sweet smell and refined routine. Providing me with reward, in'scent'ive and pleasant thoughts.

Shower on, grounds stirred, press down, body washed, clothes on, coffee.....

mmmmm....

it's 7:42am and I'm out the door.

Happy 40th Dan.

Yesterday I met Dan. He voted for Hillary Clinton. These were his first words to me and my friend,

"I voted for Hillary" he said as we crossed the road at Broadway and Commercial. We were on our way home from work.

"Were you in the States or did you write her name on your ballot?" I looked at my coworker and she smiled. I think we both understood he didn't vote at all. "I just want to get attention, I didn't really vote. I'm sorta drunk, actually." he wiped his nose with his sleeve. "I've been just saying stuff to people to get a reaction." He was a fairly together looking man except for the toque on his head and the bottle of pop in his arm. It was more the way he was holding the bottle of pop, pocketed into his elbow, as if it was a football and he was a running back. Apperantly it was mixed with booze.

We were across the road and my friend had to part with me. My first thought was that I should keep this guy occupied while she walked away. However, it didn't take long to see this wasn't going to be that kind of interaction.

I asked him his name and he was a little excitable. His thoughts seemed to run together, but he was completely coherent and in the moment. The conversation was not very linear from that point on. He sometimes mentioned that he didn't really vote or that his birthday was on Saturday (maybe he'd get some booze or if he's lucky coke). Regardless of the topic, he'd always throw in that he was trying to get some attention.

The fog was thick that day and very damp on my person. I was wearing business dress pants, made of next to nothing. Thin enough to let the wind through, the shivering had started in my legs. Now we had been speaking for fifteen minutes. I felt somewhat guilty, complaining in my head about the cold, as he says "So I'm homeless. I'll be forty on Saturday" and mentions his options to celebrate again. As we consolidate our feelings on drug addiction I think about the cold again.

"I didn't really vote for Hillary, I've just been saying that to people" and I wonder, as you the reader may be, if this was going anywhere. and then it does...

"Humans are good, don't listen to that crap." "What crap?" You were thinking it too. He answers, "the crap that people aren't good, cuz they are." I realize the obvious, he means that people are good and nothing more. It was not complicated, but I was somehow completely moved. A guy who had been looking for attention, pocketing a booze bottle in his elbow, with nowhere to live actually felt that things were going to be ok. "Things are going to be ok" he said, that's how I knew his feelings. "but don't vote for Harper again, vote Hillary, or maybe Obama"

I was moved, but I was cold. If I had been talking to a good friend, I would have excused myself by now and been home, in a thick hoodie. I offered my hand to him, because he deserved a congratulations. I said with recognition "I sure am glad to hear people still think it's going to be alright." Our hands raised a little, still clasping, his a little harder than before. They were around the height of our chest, but the hand shake had somehow shifted.

I didn't mind that we were still touching, but we were at the corner of Commercial and Broadway (5pm). I felt somehow strange, picture the promenade in square dancing, this is how our hands were being held. We continued to talk, mostly him, while I nodded. I tried every trick in the book to excuse myself. None of it worked, we were even shifting in a circle, round and round, holding hands. So very close to breaking out in a waltz, I realize he needed attention. He had said so many times. I had been completely moved by this guy and even revived a bit. Yet, I had not heard a word he said. I said "Dan." He said,"You be good" he knew what was coming. "I have to go, so I'm going to give you a hug and then I'm going to go." I was cold, but I would be warm soon, his hands were very clammy as he let go of mine. We hugged. It wasn't too long, or too short. Just long enough for both of us. He wiped his cheek. It was just a tear, but he was crying and so was I.

"I Voted for Hillary" he yelled at a lady with a large hat.

A lighthouse in the fog.

For the past week, or what seems like five weeks, we have had a very thick fog in Vancouver. Something that at first thought seems different or weird for this region. Many people have made comments on what seems like the usual banter about the daily weather, only now about fog. I hear hourly in my surroundings, "this fog sure is strange" and " Vancouver hasn't seen this type of fog in ever" then there is my personal favorite "this is all because of the inversion". This last one is at the top of my list because it's thrown around so very loosely. "The rare and strange inversion is causing this air mass to ... yadda yadda", from both meteorologists, bus patrons and co-workers alike. However, from what I can gather (and I'm not a meteorologist) inversion is necessary for almost all fog. So is inversion really that rare when fog is present? I asked this once and the response I got was that it was rare, for this region, but not necessarily as a phenomenon. This caused me to think. Ok, we are a city that is a harbor, surrounded by mountains and formerly a rain forest. Is it fog really rare. Those sound like perfect conditions for fog! Now, I'm not only not a meteorologist, but I'm also no (I am now looking up the most appropriate profession) ...geologist? So I'm not sure, but these thoughts of our conditions here, in this city, make me more curious as to why we aren't best friends with inversion.

But I digress...

Yesterday the skies opened up, or as they say, the fog cleared. There it was low and behold... the beautiful sight of the City of Vancouver. Man it was stunning. I had forgotten what anything that wasn't seven feet in front of me looked like. This is why the view of the mountains, majestic and white, not a cloud to be seen was so refreshing. I heard a much different tone from the players of weather talk, now it was stuff like, "as soon as that sun comes out you feel different, don't ya?" or the joyful "beautiful day innit?" and on the other end of the spectrum, my favourite " Sure is F'n great out!" The joy was over whelming, everyone could see and appreciate the beauty that hid behind the misty curtains that had been pulled back. Revealing the beauty that we knew was there, but could only dream of grasping in the depths of fog.

Two days and two nights with no blindness during day, no calling out in front of you, no scary road crossings, not knowing if some car is speeding your way. Most noticeably, no deep bellowing and somber sound of the lighthouse in the night warning the ships of potential danger.

and like the scar in the valley our city is, it hit me. The fog in our life is only here to help us weed through the dismal life, working towards the beauties that lie behind. So I welcome you, oh rare inversion, my friend whom no other can understand. You are the lighthouse, in the dismal life I refuse to acknowledge. Today I go without you, clear headed, happy and hopeful; but perhaps tomorrow I will wander again, with only the deep horn and your light's blip in the sky, to guide me through a night.

Happy wave riding everyone.